Getting better. 

After a month of physical pain swirling around, i think I’m on the right dose of medication. It is more than I originslly thought I needed. The pain mostly has subsided. I’m going to be drowsy for a month . This time there hasn’t been an ugly fight of suicidal thoughts. It’s been more a smothering sadness at how life is I guess. Stuff I know is there but usually choose to ignore. I had a dream I had a seizure. It was weird, I remember getting up and looking for a doctor despite still fitting. I am having odd dreams. I also dreamt I was having my cards read, death kept appearing. Im in that wobbly stage now, sometimes im ok, othertimes I hide in bed and wish the day away . Today’s a bed day.  I suppose I don’t want to face what makes me sad. Not today. 


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