Bast, anxiety, depression

The confidence heka I mentioned previously has worked . The heka in question was :: hail to you my heart, seat of my personality. Do not forsake me.:: What I found was when I get nervous to repeat it, and I instantly feel calmer. This I have now utilised in my toolbox for working on those yellow and pink issues, that netjer kept pushing me to work on. ( they used colour to communicate love, strength/ confidence) . So today I did something I have Never done, I asked some one if they wanted to go out with me. I would not in a million years be able to have done this before. As it happens, he said he is taken. This would be ok if it wasn’t for the mammoth crush I have had on him for months. So now I’m feeling weaker than a puddle if water. And for so many years, I have purposefully avoided those puddles. I half want to cry, half want to laugh that at least I did it, half feel liberated of this crush and of my anxiety. But I for certain know I’m crawling back to bed to get warm since rejection has left me stone cold. It has been a strange month, I’ve been visited by a well known doctor called Dr Hernandez,and by Bast who heard my murmuring about how something wasn’t right and I needed anti depressants again. Dr Hernandez visited a few nights I think, and got rid of aches and pains, I now have a rheumatology appointment to go to as well. He also completely removed the crush I had on that aforementioned person ( but it came back healthier) Bast helped ease my pains, and then blasted away the depression with what I can only describe as a very precise laser beam aimed at my head. It was certainly cool to see. I think today might be a, tears in the shrine day. Over and out

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