To my knowledge, I believe I have known Bast for 4 years. She is one of my main go to deities and I consider her a mother. Going back several years ago to childhood, I was painfully shy were even sometimes talking to friends was difficult. As a ( 17 year old) teenager I couldn’t speak to people I fancied even if they spoke directly to me, perhaps cute at first.. But damn hurtful after that. Of course, I had largely grown out of this , until apparently this year. I’m 29. I thought that this meant I had grown out of that shit . No. I currently am harbouring a mammoth crush on some one, who appears to reciprocate it. Great! Yes. So, as part of a previous Bast ritual ( tying in with chewing onions for Bast), I wrote down things that were important to me, it turned out.. My love life became number one. Even if it’s not That guy. So, the deal was; I’d get off my butt and make small talk. Me and Bast waited patiently. On my first attempt to make small talk I froze, and managed a very squeezed out ” hi” . Second time, I manage a joke and sentence. Cool cool. Getting there.( this is good for me ) Third time — I can not say fuck all except one thing which I’m not going to repeat. Needless to say, I spent the day hating myself, and finally relenting to fix this mess. Earlier in the month I bought some sugar and cinnamon mix, and a heart with bells and ribbon on. Pretty random I thought.. But turns out I needed them.
I sat down to perform Senut, it turns out this problem bothered me more than I wanted to admit so as is not unusual I sat and cried in Senut. After my tears, we had some pomegranate and hibiscus tea with the sugar and cinnamon. I then sang one of Shefytbasts songs to Bast, which I felt was so spot on that I cried when I read it.
Then, I found a confidence Heka . It is in rev. Siudas Ancient Egyptian Prayer Book:: Hail to you my heart, seat of my personality; do not forsake me. I wrote this on paper, drew the eye of Heru, and this will be in shrine for 4 days. It felt powerful writing it and saying it, lastly, I asked if I could borrow the heart with bells to rattle when I feel anxious.. Bast agreed. I spent time watching the flame for messages, as I spoke about my anxieties, the flame jumped .. Then when I settled.. It went from pure white , to black, green , yellow , blue and then a beautiful violet colour. I have high hopes for this heka. I don’t want to be trapped by my own thoughts anymore. Dua Bast! Also, because I love this photo, here is Bast decorated from the day of chewing onions festival